DENVER, CO – The honorable intentions of one of the industry’s favorite vegetables has landed a convict in prison, after he attempted to besmirch the reputation of broccoli, with further antics ensuing. The drug dealers in question sold fresh broccoli to his customers instead of marijuana, causing confrontation and then a 16-year prison sentence for one of the men.
“This may be the first time that broccoli has been bad for someone’s health,” District Attorney George Brauchler said in a statement, according to the Huffington Post.
This tale revolves around 26-year-old dealer Sababu Colbert-Evans, and his somewhat ironically nicknamed partner, Tercell “22 Jump Street” Davis. Earlier last year, the dealers met some buyers in an eastern Denver suburb of Aurora to sell them a load of marijuana. However, what the buyers actually purchased for $10,000 was a much less pricey bundle of broccoli that Davis had just purchased from a nearby supermarket.
The buyers, yet unnamed, remained duped until later in the day when they realized the true nature of their green goods. Hoping to recover their funds or trade the vegetables for their intended purchase, the buyers contacted Davis again under another name.
Davis and Colbert-Evans approached the new meeting at the Aurora Town Center mall with the same plan in mind, another load of broccoli instead of marijuana for the illegal transaction. As the argument between the two men escalated, Davis and Colbert-Evans attacked their confronters and potentially endangered mall goers, thus landing them jail time. Colbert-Evans received a 16-year sentence under serious charges, with Davis due to be sentenced in early August.
No word on the state of liberation for the ill-disguised broccoli, or the actual street value of the falsely sold veg.
So, what have we learned? That broccoli will prevail time and again, undaunted by the criminal underworld.
