Kylie Jenner Postmates A Single Carrot
- by Kayla Webb
CALABASAS, CA - Let me set the scene for you: You’re in the kitchen of your Calabasas home, and you’re making your famous matzo ball soup, as featured on your Instagram story. At your feet, your dogs Norman and Bambi are waiting patiently for a food scrap to fall, and in a highchair nearby sits baby Stormi. Celery, egg noodles, chicken bouillon, and hand-made matzo balls are waiting to be tossed in the pot. But something is missing…something orange, cone-shaped, and delicious…but you just can’t put your finger on what.
Now, devoted ANUK readers, before you climb aboard the Hater Express, let me remind you that the year of realizing things was 2016. 2018, on the other hand, was a bleak journey across the endless void where exhaustion and misery reign. 2018 was a year of forgetting things—sometimes accidentally, but more often than not willingly and to stay sane. So we’re going to cut our protagonist some slack.
Okay, back to the scene: You are the youngest sister in the Kardashian Five (Kylie Jenner), and as one of the makeup industry’s top moguls and as a new mother, your mind is on things other than essential produce. It happens. Luckily, you’re stinking rich and a loyal Postmates customer. In fact, in 2018 alone, you spent $10,000 on Postmates—chump change, am I right?
So, you place your least expensive Postmates order of the year for a single carrot and count down the minutes until your matzo ball soup will be officially complete. As you wait, you wonder if you should make a lip kit inspired by this silly mishap, a collection of liners and sticks in varying hues of carrot orange. You think maybe one particular Instagram follower and fresh produce reporter, Kayla Webb, would get a kick out of that line since it might give her the opportunity to write about you on AndNowUKnow. But, alas, you’re already giving her enough material for one story, so you pass on the idea.
Your carrot finally arrives. You move on with your life, leaving those less Kardashian-y to piece together the day of the Great Carrot Cargo.
For more celeb Postmates produce hauls, AndNowUKnow will continue to bring you the latest.